The weather as of late has been grey, yucky, cold and rainy. I don't mind a good rain but the kids are getting bored. But boredom leads to creativity. It is sooo easy to get sidetracked and just let them veg in front of the tv this is something that as a mom I have to actively put a stop to and deal with the moans and groans. So when no electronic time is declared everyone grips. No TV, No playstation and no computer.. but MOOOOOM we are going to be bored. This is what happened last night.. and they stomped around the house moping for about twenty minutes. Then they got the old crayons out and colored all night long. Today when this time came again much earlier in the day they did not complain. They decided to find a craft.
So today they wanted to make homemade paper like a show they saw on tv a while back. Now I don't have a blender to spare since this is not my home.. but I do have a sand sifter from the beach stashed in the summer box.. which will be great. So they decided to use old toilet paper rolls to make this happen. Woohoo for creativity.
yes I have lots of rainy day activities in the back of my head, but for them to come up with it on their own made it even more precious. So exciting to see how this turns out. They do not want my help and they are doing it together.
The ideas are endless today... they even have a plan for when project A is done.. they will move on to coloring coffee filters with markers and leaving them in the rain. Too much fun for a rainy day lol.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Taking Breaks
Along our homeschooling journey one of the most important things I have learned is the importance of taking breaks when needed. Our style of learning is not fully unschooled-or curriculum based or school at home. If I had to label our teaching it would be an eclectic-online school system. We tend to use both online learning, supplemental learning, and child-interest guided learning.
I have done the plan it all out approach, write down everything we do as we go approach and the general document it by topic approach. In all the years I have been interested in homeschooling (9), from day one of pregnancy... I have tried many methods, searched and read and searched some more and have found a nice mix that works for us. Not one school of thought has been enough, not one method works either. As many say there are as many methods of learning and are all unique as there are children and their ways of learning. Each child is different and as I have learned .. just like us adults we change over time, they also change over time. They mature, develop stronger opinions and wants and also fine tune and toss out different learning styles. One year we are full on computer based, the next may be book learning, the next a variety of the two.
This brings me back to the topic, along this line I have found that when my kids tend to get overwhelmed with a topic no matter how easy it may seem.. it has been vital to give them breaks. To be willing to go back, review and relearn until they are comfortable with the subject. I have also seen them be so bored out of their mind that they fight the learning and when that happens I have to step back and reanalyze the scenario. Is it the topic, the lesson, lack of sleep, lack of food... what is causing them to be defiant at that time. When all the physical needs are met and a break is needed then we take it. I let them not fully guide their learning, but when they are ready to get back to the studies and they had their break, whether it be for the rest of the day or a couple days off... then they seem to be recharged and ready to take it on with full force. It is amazing how effective this has been. They not only swiftly accomplish the task that had seemed so hard before.. they do more than are asked and often intertwine lessons to work together around topics.
At this stage in the game there have been days where I feel like the task master and feel like I am shoving school down their throat... and other days where they ask to do school stuff and make it so easy that I look forward to more and more learning alongside of them. My kids have taught me so much about learning and living life through this adventure that I cannot wait until the teen years when they get deeper into subjects that will effect them later in life. I truly believe that if you instill the want and need of learning and joy of learning in them, then later when it comes to the harder subjects they will be eager to keep going.
We have taken breaks off of the computer and switched to game learning, and then gone back and forth between worksheet learning. Just because they don't like it now, does not mean they will never like it or enjoy this method. So some advice I like to share with new mothers even those who are not homeschooling is to never give up and don't be afraid to go back and try something again. Just as our taste buds change with time, so do our perspectives of learning.
I have done the plan it all out approach, write down everything we do as we go approach and the general document it by topic approach. In all the years I have been interested in homeschooling (9), from day one of pregnancy... I have tried many methods, searched and read and searched some more and have found a nice mix that works for us. Not one school of thought has been enough, not one method works either. As many say there are as many methods of learning and are all unique as there are children and their ways of learning. Each child is different and as I have learned .. just like us adults we change over time, they also change over time. They mature, develop stronger opinions and wants and also fine tune and toss out different learning styles. One year we are full on computer based, the next may be book learning, the next a variety of the two.
This brings me back to the topic, along this line I have found that when my kids tend to get overwhelmed with a topic no matter how easy it may seem.. it has been vital to give them breaks. To be willing to go back, review and relearn until they are comfortable with the subject. I have also seen them be so bored out of their mind that they fight the learning and when that happens I have to step back and reanalyze the scenario. Is it the topic, the lesson, lack of sleep, lack of food... what is causing them to be defiant at that time. When all the physical needs are met and a break is needed then we take it. I let them not fully guide their learning, but when they are ready to get back to the studies and they had their break, whether it be for the rest of the day or a couple days off... then they seem to be recharged and ready to take it on with full force. It is amazing how effective this has been. They not only swiftly accomplish the task that had seemed so hard before.. they do more than are asked and often intertwine lessons to work together around topics.
At this stage in the game there have been days where I feel like the task master and feel like I am shoving school down their throat... and other days where they ask to do school stuff and make it so easy that I look forward to more and more learning alongside of them. My kids have taught me so much about learning and living life through this adventure that I cannot wait until the teen years when they get deeper into subjects that will effect them later in life. I truly believe that if you instill the want and need of learning and joy of learning in them, then later when it comes to the harder subjects they will be eager to keep going.
We have taken breaks off of the computer and switched to game learning, and then gone back and forth between worksheet learning. Just because they don't like it now, does not mean they will never like it or enjoy this method. So some advice I like to share with new mothers even those who are not homeschooling is to never give up and don't be afraid to go back and try something again. Just as our taste buds change with time, so do our perspectives of learning.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Poetry time
One of the aspects in life that I have been waiting for my kids to get old enough to do has been poetry. In my early school years it held a deep place in my heart. Poetry, free writing, etc etc. So naturally I could not wait for the kids to be old enough to appreciate it themselves. With this said over the last decade I went back and analyzed my own time and realized that poetry helped me to get through the horrid teen years. Come the married years, I was just too busy to sit and write anything at all. Yes, I tried the journal thing and that never panned out... and this leads to today. Now I am slowly getting back into blogging and it brings back all those emotions I would experience when creating my own poetry. Writing means a lot to me and therefore I would hope would one day mean a lot to my children.
Today one of the worksheets my daughter had was about Haiku. Now she read and reread the assignment and then came to me begging to skip that section. I was just heartbroken. I had to really catch my breath.. I could not believe my kid would not want to do a poem. Then I read her assignment and it occurred to me.. it's not the poetry that was bothering her..hahahah it was the writing. She had to write her poem down. She absolutely hates writing it has taken her a long time to be comfortable with writing anything at all... let alone something from her own head.
So we did an oral practice and got her laughing instead of crying. Made her realize that it was not as hard as it seemed... and the whole point of the assignment in the end had nothing to do with poetry... it was all about if she understood how to use syllables. When we stepped back and talked about why she was doing the haiku and what the other pages were like, then she agreed it was actually an easy page. Plus she would get to draw her picture afterward, so that was good encouragement. And left on her own to finish with a topic about weather... here is her first poem..
Clouds are gray and white.
They are going to bring rain.
The Earth is happy.
This was inspired by our storm today... her prediction from the clouds.. and she was right it would rain, and it did. After all the stress she smiled and read her poem with pride. A writer is born! Yeah there is still hope after all. I just keep telling myself be patient... everything in its own time!
Today one of the worksheets my daughter had was about Haiku. Now she read and reread the assignment and then came to me begging to skip that section. I was just heartbroken. I had to really catch my breath.. I could not believe my kid would not want to do a poem. Then I read her assignment and it occurred to me.. it's not the poetry that was bothering her..hahahah it was the writing. She had to write her poem down. She absolutely hates writing it has taken her a long time to be comfortable with writing anything at all... let alone something from her own head.
So we did an oral practice and got her laughing instead of crying. Made her realize that it was not as hard as it seemed... and the whole point of the assignment in the end had nothing to do with poetry... it was all about if she understood how to use syllables. When we stepped back and talked about why she was doing the haiku and what the other pages were like, then she agreed it was actually an easy page. Plus she would get to draw her picture afterward, so that was good encouragement. And left on her own to finish with a topic about weather... here is her first poem..
Clouds are gray and white.
They are going to bring rain.
The Earth is happy.
This was inspired by our storm today... her prediction from the clouds.. and she was right it would rain, and it did. After all the stress she smiled and read her poem with pride. A writer is born! Yeah there is still hope after all. I just keep telling myself be patient... everything in its own time!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Mommyhood and Travel
Generally I love traveling. Now after having moved so many times in life and doing big distances of travel as well as small distances... I think I am slowing changing my mind. Hmm Are we even allowed to change that feeling? Oh by golly I think I can. But wait does that mean my heart is changing.. NO WAY. I still love learning about new cultures, trying new foods, learning new languages, and showing my kids the world. This is just a temporary feeling. All comes down to the stress on my head and heart at this moment in time.. just this one particular incident..
This is not such much of a burden as much as it is such a headache to anticipate and mentally plan and then have plans changed and unchanged etc etc. Dads in my opinion sometimes have it too easy, they say we are going and boom the mom has to be ready and get it all packed and out the door by the time dad has the car heated up.
Yes a few days of forewarning is gracious.. but what happens when you are just sort of told about it.. Nothing set in stone.. But told (in that you need to start packing right now tone because when dad says its time.. that means that night or the next morning...) basically oh um next week we are going to this city for 10 days. Heart beats become erratic and the following thoughts occur... and not always in this order but this is what happened to me this past week...
1.. woohoo travel, 2.. woohoo change of scenery.. the apartment is getting boring... 3.. wait rewind what.. ten days with 3 adults and 2 kids... 4.. what will we be doing 5.. what clothes for the possible activities.. are we swimming, outdoor shopping, fancy dinner, roadside dinner, visiting relatives...... 6.. OMG how do I prepare just enough for each person so all activities can be covered... nice clothes with shoes to match, walking clothes with shoes etc etc etc (insert hubs comment "Honey, lets get it all into 1 suitcase this time...) (IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?????) 7... the panic attack in the head starts the throbbing is coming.... do I take my own dishes, should I empty the cupboards to save money on eating out..you know.. like last of the pasta, rice, coffee, the dry goods that are only needed for a few meals.. 8.. what do I pack to entertain the kids with during the down time.. yes with this amount of time there will inevitably always be down time.. and no TV to zone out with and no movies to carry with hmmm this is a category on its own 9. back around to the clothes.. accidents occur so have to have back ups, no laundry facilities to just run to OH NO wait bad news, all the laundry is dirty and with just a few days left and the weather is cold.. will they all dry outside on the line in time to pack YIKES thud thud thud.. blood is now rushing to the head
10.... from the spouse "Honey, I don't really wanna go.. let's get mom to go on her own." "Mom wants to go for 10 days.. let's just do 3 maybe 4".... note from Mominlaw "Pack for 10days, he will change his mind when he gets there..." Hubby "I heard that, and no I won't!!!!"
Is it ok to fall to the floor right this minute... let's just say I was superbly mentally exhausted by the time Sunday rolled around to where all I wanted to do was crawl in a ball and sleep... but life still goes on and we still have to stay on top of the house, the food, the teaching and all that is involved in the normal this is not vacation day to day of life...
So this story continues yes he did not want to go, this trip was brought on by Mom having her vacation and wanting to get out of dodge...and we all agreed it was time for her to take a vacation (in a good daughter in law sort of you need a break from US feeling) for one person that's fine.. but for the whole family on a tight budget as it is.. it no longer becomes a vacation for me and more of an upheaval of routine. This whole adventure has already been an upheaval of monumental proportions.. the whole move to another country adventure..
I hate routine, but after this long drawn out process of will it happen or will it not (because the idea of yes, no ,yes ,no, today- tomorrow departure went on for 3 days..) I was very relieved when the God saw my dispair and relieved my pains. Watched the weather and boom RAINY DREARY freezing temps in the to be traveled to city... who wants to travel in such muck weather occurred. Yes mom agree that was not good weather to take the kids in, too much stress at this point in the season, this sort of travel is better for summer or spring.
Woohoo victory for my brain.
Summary... eventually we talked Mom-in law into going on her own via train to visit family and whatever she wants to do. And oddly enough the morning she departed I was able to catch my breath again, and just relax. I get a mini vacation within my own home.. yes weird thought.. but with her gone we can eat WHEN we want and WHAT we want. (the kids want all American favorites, burgers, fried chicken, pizza.. the works hahaha) The kids have free range of the whole house on the condition they clean up after themselves with each adventure.
And Yes I am mentally on vacation while she is away.
Side note.. this does not mean I am not up for travel, or for adventures, just not this week.. not feeling it sort of feeling. (And the weather here is amazing, blue skies, blue water... get out and explore in our neck of the woods weather) I am thankful for these moments because they really let me appreciate the simplicity of day to day life.. just when I was getting bored with the routine of things.
This is not such much of a burden as much as it is such a headache to anticipate and mentally plan and then have plans changed and unchanged etc etc. Dads in my opinion sometimes have it too easy, they say we are going and boom the mom has to be ready and get it all packed and out the door by the time dad has the car heated up.
Yes a few days of forewarning is gracious.. but what happens when you are just sort of told about it.. Nothing set in stone.. But told (in that you need to start packing right now tone because when dad says its time.. that means that night or the next morning...) basically oh um next week we are going to this city for 10 days. Heart beats become erratic and the following thoughts occur... and not always in this order but this is what happened to me this past week...
1.. woohoo travel, 2.. woohoo change of scenery.. the apartment is getting boring... 3.. wait rewind what.. ten days with 3 adults and 2 kids... 4.. what will we be doing 5.. what clothes for the possible activities.. are we swimming, outdoor shopping, fancy dinner, roadside dinner, visiting relatives...... 6.. OMG how do I prepare just enough for each person so all activities can be covered... nice clothes with shoes to match, walking clothes with shoes etc etc etc (insert hubs comment "Honey, lets get it all into 1 suitcase this time...) (IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?????) 7... the panic attack in the head starts the throbbing is coming.... do I take my own dishes, should I empty the cupboards to save money on eating out..you know.. like last of the pasta, rice, coffee, the dry goods that are only needed for a few meals.. 8.. what do I pack to entertain the kids with during the down time.. yes with this amount of time there will inevitably always be down time.. and no TV to zone out with and no movies to carry with hmmm this is a category on its own 9. back around to the clothes.. accidents occur so have to have back ups, no laundry facilities to just run to OH NO wait bad news, all the laundry is dirty and with just a few days left and the weather is cold.. will they all dry outside on the line in time to pack YIKES thud thud thud.. blood is now rushing to the head
10.... from the spouse "Honey, I don't really wanna go.. let's get mom to go on her own." "Mom wants to go for 10 days.. let's just do 3 maybe 4".... note from Mominlaw "Pack for 10days, he will change his mind when he gets there..." Hubby "I heard that, and no I won't!!!!"
Is it ok to fall to the floor right this minute... let's just say I was superbly mentally exhausted by the time Sunday rolled around to where all I wanted to do was crawl in a ball and sleep... but life still goes on and we still have to stay on top of the house, the food, the teaching and all that is involved in the normal this is not vacation day to day of life...
So this story continues yes he did not want to go, this trip was brought on by Mom having her vacation and wanting to get out of dodge...and we all agreed it was time for her to take a vacation (in a good daughter in law sort of you need a break from US feeling) for one person that's fine.. but for the whole family on a tight budget as it is.. it no longer becomes a vacation for me and more of an upheaval of routine. This whole adventure has already been an upheaval of monumental proportions.. the whole move to another country adventure..
I hate routine, but after this long drawn out process of will it happen or will it not (because the idea of yes, no ,yes ,no, today- tomorrow departure went on for 3 days..) I was very relieved when the God saw my dispair and relieved my pains. Watched the weather and boom RAINY DREARY freezing temps in the to be traveled to city... who wants to travel in such muck weather occurred. Yes mom agree that was not good weather to take the kids in, too much stress at this point in the season, this sort of travel is better for summer or spring.
Woohoo victory for my brain.
Summary... eventually we talked Mom-in law into going on her own via train to visit family and whatever she wants to do. And oddly enough the morning she departed I was able to catch my breath again, and just relax. I get a mini vacation within my own home.. yes weird thought.. but with her gone we can eat WHEN we want and WHAT we want. (the kids want all American favorites, burgers, fried chicken, pizza.. the works hahaha) The kids have free range of the whole house on the condition they clean up after themselves with each adventure.
And Yes I am mentally on vacation while she is away.
Side note.. this does not mean I am not up for travel, or for adventures, just not this week.. not feeling it sort of feeling. (And the weather here is amazing, blue skies, blue water... get out and explore in our neck of the woods weather) I am thankful for these moments because they really let me appreciate the simplicity of day to day life.. just when I was getting bored with the routine of things.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Getting to know you....
Lately I have not blogged because we have been so caught up in just staying on top of the routine of life that by the time I sit at the computer and look up a few new crochet techniques or practice a stitch here and there... I am so doggone tired that blogging is far from my reaches. One kid gets sick and then better then another sick and slowly getting better. With sickies comes mommy up every hour checking on them, cleaning up the messes, making the soups, and teas and repeat one hundred times to put your socks back on to stay warm... with all that I have just been worn out.
Oddly enough though both the sicknesses were not related. Both though did come from eating bad stuff. The first girl got sick from possibly not washing strawberries too well or eating just way to many of them. One of her favorite fruits that just happen to come into season and with that comes the downfall of over indulgence. Daddy brings in 2 lbs and by the time mommy finds out they are in the house all that is left is the red snail trails around the kitchen.. yep that is the only way to describe it. Evidence that at least they washed them before gulfing them down. Pink water drops on the sink, counter, table and floor.. along with a leaf or butt here and there. Every season this happens. I have learned to stash my stashes for cooking straight to the freezer before they even know they have come in the door.
So with the over indulgence that includes tons of giggles from all guilty parties.. including the ringmaster himself... one always gets sick from too much of a good thing.
Second sick girl got sick from possibly eating yucky sausage... this is not the first time she has gotten sick after sausage so I am thinking "hey" maybe she cannot digest them. Everyone else seems just fine from the same batch. To be on the safe side she will just not get that kind of sausage anymore.
All this rambling comes back around to the title of this post... Getting to know you.. getting to know all about you... this song has been stuck in my head today. The past few months I have been in a 'stuck' in the house kind of slump. Not many things to do with the kids within walking distance and the garden park just gets tooo parky after awhile. Decided to get out and about and explore a different path.
We now have been here long enough to fully orient ourselves with our 5 mile radius of safety. Meaning I feel comfortable enough that if I were to walk 5 miles absentmindedly.. I could safely find my way back home without asking for directions. (Yeah for learning how to orient myself on a map!!!) My daughters on the other hand had never experienced the way mommy learns to get around that seems so scary and wierd. I like to get out and check around all the corners, be able to identify points of interest.. bank, coffee shop, bread store, candy store... gas station.. that way when getting turned around while shopping as us woman so often do. If I look up eventually something is familiar and I can get back home. Is it obvious I have moved enough times and explored enough places that it is routine on how to find comfort in the unknown.
Took the kids out exploring and finally they are at ease with this safety block and know if we were ever to get seperated how to find their way back to the park and then the house!!! For me this means that 1. I have been here to long.. the town is growing on my comforts and the surroundings are familiar..2. I am feeling safe and the surroundings are no longer scary. 3. The same bums are familiar and the trash piles that never go away are recognizable as landmarks hahaha.
We have found our way from the snack shop, to the cheap burgers and fries, to the healthy fruit shakes, to the cheap shopping, back around to the fresh hot bread, coffee shop and HOME. What more can you need in a random walk out and about. Now I feel comfortable throwing on the clothes and shoes and yanking the kids out for a random treat. As the kids like to say.. "Mom the reading can wait.. the snickers is calling.." hahahahah.
I am very thankful for these opportunities to learn new things about my surroundings and myself that come with every adventure.
Oddly enough though both the sicknesses were not related. Both though did come from eating bad stuff. The first girl got sick from possibly not washing strawberries too well or eating just way to many of them. One of her favorite fruits that just happen to come into season and with that comes the downfall of over indulgence. Daddy brings in 2 lbs and by the time mommy finds out they are in the house all that is left is the red snail trails around the kitchen.. yep that is the only way to describe it. Evidence that at least they washed them before gulfing them down. Pink water drops on the sink, counter, table and floor.. along with a leaf or butt here and there. Every season this happens. I have learned to stash my stashes for cooking straight to the freezer before they even know they have come in the door.
So with the over indulgence that includes tons of giggles from all guilty parties.. including the ringmaster himself... one always gets sick from too much of a good thing.
Second sick girl got sick from possibly eating yucky sausage... this is not the first time she has gotten sick after sausage so I am thinking "hey" maybe she cannot digest them. Everyone else seems just fine from the same batch. To be on the safe side she will just not get that kind of sausage anymore.
All this rambling comes back around to the title of this post... Getting to know you.. getting to know all about you... this song has been stuck in my head today. The past few months I have been in a 'stuck' in the house kind of slump. Not many things to do with the kids within walking distance and the garden park just gets tooo parky after awhile. Decided to get out and about and explore a different path.
We now have been here long enough to fully orient ourselves with our 5 mile radius of safety. Meaning I feel comfortable enough that if I were to walk 5 miles absentmindedly.. I could safely find my way back home without asking for directions. (Yeah for learning how to orient myself on a map!!!) My daughters on the other hand had never experienced the way mommy learns to get around that seems so scary and wierd. I like to get out and check around all the corners, be able to identify points of interest.. bank, coffee shop, bread store, candy store... gas station.. that way when getting turned around while shopping as us woman so often do. If I look up eventually something is familiar and I can get back home. Is it obvious I have moved enough times and explored enough places that it is routine on how to find comfort in the unknown.
Took the kids out exploring and finally they are at ease with this safety block and know if we were ever to get seperated how to find their way back to the park and then the house!!! For me this means that 1. I have been here to long.. the town is growing on my comforts and the surroundings are familiar..2. I am feeling safe and the surroundings are no longer scary. 3. The same bums are familiar and the trash piles that never go away are recognizable as landmarks hahaha.
We have found our way from the snack shop, to the cheap burgers and fries, to the healthy fruit shakes, to the cheap shopping, back around to the fresh hot bread, coffee shop and HOME. What more can you need in a random walk out and about. Now I feel comfortable throwing on the clothes and shoes and yanking the kids out for a random treat. As the kids like to say.. "Mom the reading can wait.. the snickers is calling.." hahahahah.
I am very thankful for these opportunities to learn new things about my surroundings and myself that come with every adventure.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Changes in Life
Sitting here thinking about what to write and so many topics come to mind and my mind is turning over and over. What has stood out the most lately? There is a recurring theme that I have seen with a few of my online friends and that is a major change in life. Change can be super super scary because there is that mystery of the unknown. Part of that mystery though is very exciting and intriguing. What will be next in life.. where will this lead... am I doing the right thing?? So many questions come with change.
I sit here and ponder what some of the biggest changes are that have the biggest impact and I want to send a virtual hug out to all my friends that are making changes in their life. I am in no way an expert in this but after all the moves I have been through in my life I realize that I am getting close to becoming really good at new beginnings. Growing up we moved around a lot... by a lot I mean between kindergarten and graduation I went to 12 schools, 3 states and 2 countries.. and that is not all the times we moved, just the schools. That also does not count all the times my parents moved before I even started kindergarten. Of the 5 of us kids, none of us were even born in the same state (well except for the twins.. but that was a special exception lol.) This makes one think "she must be an army brat" ... but no there is the other option, my parents were hippies on the move. Change was in their blood. Never stay put, never get attached, and just spread the love around.
So when I found myself living in the same city for the last ten years I thought, wow I am so proud of myself for being able to settle down. I only lived in 3 places during that time and grew roots into the ground... both my girls were born in the same hospital.
So this topic is about the change of moving, of starting over, a new beginning. Nothing in life is permanent. When I look back at the last decade I realize that just because I was in the same city that whole time did not mean things stayed the same. I changed jobs, had kids, changed friends, found new hangouts, painted and repainted, got new furniture etc etc... every year brought something new and different to our lives. I am very thankful for the chance to have changes in life. It brings a fresh look and new perspective to the old and mundane. If things stay the same for too long they get dusty and grow mold and that is just what happens to our spirits.
Why is moving such a scary aspect of life? The biggest emotional part of moving is having to find new friends and associates. Will I be accepted, will I be liked, will I find my way around.... so many different things come to mind. Going off to college is scary for the same reasons, getting married, having kids, changing careers... changing religions, finding religion... all of these aspects of life entail a major opening up of the soul. A tossing aside of the exterior armor that we try to build to protect ourselves and it leaves us exposed. Our inner self is open to the whole world.
In order to have new beginnings we have to retell our tales. Share our stories, and be willing to give a little more than we might want to give of our self and our time in order to build new connections. No it is not an easy task. And therefore a very very frightening experience.
With that all being said.. just because something is frightening and scary.. does not mean it is not impossible. People move all the time and are able to relocate. Many people make it seem easier than it actually is. There are so many elements that are involved from the packing to the double checking of what will be needed to start fresh. The saying good byes, the saying hellos... the getting lost in new territory just to find a grocery store. Lots of prayers are made during moves. It is so important to have a peace of mind to know that this is going to be ok. We are always so unsure of the unknown that it becomes easier to lose faith than it is to simply except that this is what God wants for us at this point in life and to let go and trust.
For those who are finding new starts in their life remember to have a bigger faith during this time. Destiny is destiny for a bigger purpose. We may not know why this is part of our life right now.. we may not realize that it is time for new friends and new face.. but we do not need to know the Reasons for this.. we just need to know that it will be alright. We are safe in God's hands.
I sit here and ponder what some of the biggest changes are that have the biggest impact and I want to send a virtual hug out to all my friends that are making changes in their life. I am in no way an expert in this but after all the moves I have been through in my life I realize that I am getting close to becoming really good at new beginnings. Growing up we moved around a lot... by a lot I mean between kindergarten and graduation I went to 12 schools, 3 states and 2 countries.. and that is not all the times we moved, just the schools. That also does not count all the times my parents moved before I even started kindergarten. Of the 5 of us kids, none of us were even born in the same state (well except for the twins.. but that was a special exception lol.) This makes one think "she must be an army brat" ... but no there is the other option, my parents were hippies on the move. Change was in their blood. Never stay put, never get attached, and just spread the love around.
So when I found myself living in the same city for the last ten years I thought, wow I am so proud of myself for being able to settle down. I only lived in 3 places during that time and grew roots into the ground... both my girls were born in the same hospital.
So this topic is about the change of moving, of starting over, a new beginning. Nothing in life is permanent. When I look back at the last decade I realize that just because I was in the same city that whole time did not mean things stayed the same. I changed jobs, had kids, changed friends, found new hangouts, painted and repainted, got new furniture etc etc... every year brought something new and different to our lives. I am very thankful for the chance to have changes in life. It brings a fresh look and new perspective to the old and mundane. If things stay the same for too long they get dusty and grow mold and that is just what happens to our spirits.
Why is moving such a scary aspect of life? The biggest emotional part of moving is having to find new friends and associates. Will I be accepted, will I be liked, will I find my way around.... so many different things come to mind. Going off to college is scary for the same reasons, getting married, having kids, changing careers... changing religions, finding religion... all of these aspects of life entail a major opening up of the soul. A tossing aside of the exterior armor that we try to build to protect ourselves and it leaves us exposed. Our inner self is open to the whole world.
In order to have new beginnings we have to retell our tales. Share our stories, and be willing to give a little more than we might want to give of our self and our time in order to build new connections. No it is not an easy task. And therefore a very very frightening experience.
With that all being said.. just because something is frightening and scary.. does not mean it is not impossible. People move all the time and are able to relocate. Many people make it seem easier than it actually is. There are so many elements that are involved from the packing to the double checking of what will be needed to start fresh. The saying good byes, the saying hellos... the getting lost in new territory just to find a grocery store. Lots of prayers are made during moves. It is so important to have a peace of mind to know that this is going to be ok. We are always so unsure of the unknown that it becomes easier to lose faith than it is to simply except that this is what God wants for us at this point in life and to let go and trust.
For those who are finding new starts in their life remember to have a bigger faith during this time. Destiny is destiny for a bigger purpose. We may not know why this is part of our life right now.. we may not realize that it is time for new friends and new face.. but we do not need to know the Reasons for this.. we just need to know that it will be alright. We are safe in God's hands.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Simple Appreciation
Over the last few weeks my mother in law has been taking the kids to school with her to hang out in the library and play on the soccer field with kids during recess. They love going, I wish they could go more often but once or twice a week is enough for the moment. In the US this would be a big no no, but she got special permission from the Director of the school and ever since it has been a special treat to go with Grandma to work. Now on these days I start of thinking woohoo a day to chill and do nothing. AHAHHHA that is not possible, there is always something that has to be done. A meal to make, one to clean up after, catch up around the house one thing here one thing there. Now don't get me wrong I do find time to go slow and sip my coffee on these days. I watch whatever I want, eat whatever I want and just enjoy the few hours of quiet.
Lately my husband has been using this time to sneak me out of the house for a coffee or a drive and it has been very nice. So today I was super tired, not having slept the night before and the weather was great and he said "Let's go out...where do you want to go??" My first thought was sounds great but man am I really tired, I just want to crochet and veg out. I remembered though that this is a rare opportunity to sneak out with him and decided to go. Now nothing came to mind... I asked him what there was to do in this town other than go to a coffee shop. He could come up with nothing other than wanting to go fishing. HAHAHAHAH if this is "our" time, that is not going to happen. I suggested we go look for things like books, clothes.. etc... not intense shopping just window shopping in a way. Something I rarely get to do let alone without kiddos. No that was not good in his mind.. no shopping today. So now what.. time is ticking, we only have a short window to go out and do something before I have to be back in time to cook dinner for the starving kids that have been gone half the day.
Earlier in the day I watched a program in French on fresh juice from all over the world.. orange juice from Brazil, Apple juice from France, Grape juice--not wine from Spain and France... Ginger Juice and Mango juice from Mali... OH Wow I was getting an itch for juice. An awesome thing I have found here is that you can get fresh squeezed juice, mixed juice .. avocado juice... anything for a fraction of the cost in the US. Like Jamba Juice but way better and cheaper. Since I have been here I have only gotten to take advantage of this a few times and that saddened me a bit. So healthy so cheap so fast food like.. but we rarely spend money on outside stuff. So that was my "pick" JUICE.. yeah sounds silly but I wanted it so bad.
We left and went walking on the cliffs over the beach, then on a drive decided to stop and get some treats... went to a French bakery and got some of the most expensive chocolate cake things I have ever eaten... now that is prices here.. but compared to back home it would have been the cost of a nasty cheap McDonald's Sundae... (can you see where this is going yuuummmmy) So we each picked one really good one, and one to split... Then we went and got some juices to go (mixed juice apple, mango, banana, and I think strawberry and possibly guava or papaya not sure>) I was so happy did not have to deal with smokers in a cafe and could come and enjoy my treats in peace. We were driving home when hubby did a detour and went to the beach front and pull right up on the side walk and we sat in the car and enjoy our goodies watching the sunset. Total cost in American conversion ... delish amazing pastries/chocolates $5, fresh squeezed fruit mixes $2 (for both of them), beautiful sunset with my love... priceless. An amazing spur of the moment date (short but perfect) for the price of a cheap dollar menu meal from a fast food restaurant. The afternoon could not have been better.
Take time to appreciate the simple things in life.
Lately my husband has been using this time to sneak me out of the house for a coffee or a drive and it has been very nice. So today I was super tired, not having slept the night before and the weather was great and he said "Let's go out...where do you want to go??" My first thought was sounds great but man am I really tired, I just want to crochet and veg out. I remembered though that this is a rare opportunity to sneak out with him and decided to go. Now nothing came to mind... I asked him what there was to do in this town other than go to a coffee shop. He could come up with nothing other than wanting to go fishing. HAHAHAHAH if this is "our" time, that is not going to happen. I suggested we go look for things like books, clothes.. etc... not intense shopping just window shopping in a way. Something I rarely get to do let alone without kiddos. No that was not good in his mind.. no shopping today. So now what.. time is ticking, we only have a short window to go out and do something before I have to be back in time to cook dinner for the starving kids that have been gone half the day.
Earlier in the day I watched a program in French on fresh juice from all over the world.. orange juice from Brazil, Apple juice from France, Grape juice--not wine from Spain and France... Ginger Juice and Mango juice from Mali... OH Wow I was getting an itch for juice. An awesome thing I have found here is that you can get fresh squeezed juice, mixed juice .. avocado juice... anything for a fraction of the cost in the US. Like Jamba Juice but way better and cheaper. Since I have been here I have only gotten to take advantage of this a few times and that saddened me a bit. So healthy so cheap so fast food like.. but we rarely spend money on outside stuff. So that was my "pick" JUICE.. yeah sounds silly but I wanted it so bad.
We left and went walking on the cliffs over the beach, then on a drive decided to stop and get some treats... went to a French bakery and got some of the most expensive chocolate cake things I have ever eaten... now that is prices here.. but compared to back home it would have been the cost of a nasty cheap McDonald's Sundae... (can you see where this is going yuuummmmy) So we each picked one really good one, and one to split... Then we went and got some juices to go (mixed juice apple, mango, banana, and I think strawberry and possibly guava or papaya not sure>) I was so happy did not have to deal with smokers in a cafe and could come and enjoy my treats in peace. We were driving home when hubby did a detour and went to the beach front and pull right up on the side walk and we sat in the car and enjoy our goodies watching the sunset. Total cost in American conversion ... delish amazing pastries/chocolates $5, fresh squeezed fruit mixes $2 (for both of them), beautiful sunset with my love... priceless. An amazing spur of the moment date (short but perfect) for the price of a cheap dollar menu meal from a fast food restaurant. The afternoon could not have been better.
Take time to appreciate the simple things in life.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
wiped out
Spring cleaning hit us way too early this year.. well at least that is how it feels. Coming here I thought I had escaped mold.. but no not possible. Being near the beach with a coastal breeze allows for more moisture to seep into the house than expected. Not all the rooms experience this.. for some reason I am just the lucky one. It grows wild on my walls, on my luggage, on my shoes... my clothes.. anything left sitting untouched for to long eventually gets some kind of mold growing. Most of the time I do not see it until it is too late, why is this... well it is because this mold is white and nasty. The stuff on the walls though crept up over a short time and is visible and explains that wierd not so coastal smell I have not been able to get rid of.
Add this to the constant dust in the air and the layer of nasty dust on the windows and you got an itch to clean that just cannot be gotten out until a full bottle of bleach has been dispersed. This feeling was not mine alone. Woke up this morning and mom in law decided to wash the windows in the living room... I figured cool I will hide and rest. No No NO not possible, my room was creeping under my skin. My tv recently broke so I finally convinced hubby to move it out. Yuck dust and mold hidden all over. So wipe that down and what do you find,... more dust more mold yuck yuck yuck.
I also had a couch in my room that was under the window, and not knowing how long before I came that it sat there.. I did the unthinkable and pulled it out. BAD mistake. GROSSness all over. Yes I am sharing this out loud as a reminder to all that yuckiness can grow in the most unlikely of places.. all those forgotten boxes of clothes in the closet, piles of "will get to that on my day off," sections of the house that are just put to the side until the moment comes that there is nothing to do but clean. Every corner of the house needs to be flipped and wiped and restored at least 2 times a year. Not just the areas that can be seen.
This being the case we had our own corners to tend to today...
So the living room was being soaked and wiped and washed and flipped and flopped... and in that process I suggested the simple comment of can I move the couch out of my room... this leads to a whirl wind of dust bunny chasing, mop water sloshing, sweeping, more flipping and flopping and one well worn out momma.
One of the cool features of Moroccan furniture is that the covers on the couches are flippable with different colors or patterns on the underneath, so every few months we flip all the covers and pillows and have a new look for no cost. On my couch I found another color that we forgot about, so not only do we have a black set, and orange set, a red set now found a cream color. So we went in hunt of all the matching pillows in the house and flipped all the couches and gave the living room a new fresh look.
The result of the day was a fresh living room, clean windows, happy mother in law. My room: got the TV out, couch out, swept and mopped all the floor (new found space way bigger), all electronics out (office for that, if they can stay there)... washed all the walls to get rid of the mold and dried them all as well to be safe and sound... and moved the bed to a new section of the room. Then brought in a desk.. I found a corner.. an unused new corner of the house...woohooo I HAVE MY SPACE.. mommy found a quiet corner. Put the desk in the corner, the laptop on the desk and the crochet bag underneath!!! Brought a new TV into the room that is on wheels, (Yes I was fine with no tv.. but somehow it is the only thing to keep us semi sane and everyone goes to their own space.. so it is an unavoidable must) and a storage box for the electronics that walked back in on their own.
My room is so fresh and clean now... I can sit and breath and watch the sunset over the ocean in peace, just a great feeling to find that one spot (all I need is a recliner and a bookshelf and I would be set wink wink) and as everyone who has walked in has declared.. wow the room is huge. Simplicity is a great feeling.
And Spring Cleaning no matter how exhausting and muscle wrenching and soul draining it may be.. the end result is worth every drop of sweat, grunts of dislike (from unhappy forced helpers), and tired body parts..
Having a well scrubbed house that is organized is like a kindergartner with new tennis shoes... You have just a wonderful extra bounce in your step.
Add this to the constant dust in the air and the layer of nasty dust on the windows and you got an itch to clean that just cannot be gotten out until a full bottle of bleach has been dispersed. This feeling was not mine alone. Woke up this morning and mom in law decided to wash the windows in the living room... I figured cool I will hide and rest. No No NO not possible, my room was creeping under my skin. My tv recently broke so I finally convinced hubby to move it out. Yuck dust and mold hidden all over. So wipe that down and what do you find,... more dust more mold yuck yuck yuck.
I also had a couch in my room that was under the window, and not knowing how long before I came that it sat there.. I did the unthinkable and pulled it out. BAD mistake. GROSSness all over. Yes I am sharing this out loud as a reminder to all that yuckiness can grow in the most unlikely of places.. all those forgotten boxes of clothes in the closet, piles of "will get to that on my day off," sections of the house that are just put to the side until the moment comes that there is nothing to do but clean. Every corner of the house needs to be flipped and wiped and restored at least 2 times a year. Not just the areas that can be seen.
This being the case we had our own corners to tend to today...
So the living room was being soaked and wiped and washed and flipped and flopped... and in that process I suggested the simple comment of can I move the couch out of my room... this leads to a whirl wind of dust bunny chasing, mop water sloshing, sweeping, more flipping and flopping and one well worn out momma.
One of the cool features of Moroccan furniture is that the covers on the couches are flippable with different colors or patterns on the underneath, so every few months we flip all the covers and pillows and have a new look for no cost. On my couch I found another color that we forgot about, so not only do we have a black set, and orange set, a red set now found a cream color. So we went in hunt of all the matching pillows in the house and flipped all the couches and gave the living room a new fresh look.
The result of the day was a fresh living room, clean windows, happy mother in law. My room: got the TV out, couch out, swept and mopped all the floor (new found space way bigger), all electronics out (office for that, if they can stay there)... washed all the walls to get rid of the mold and dried them all as well to be safe and sound... and moved the bed to a new section of the room. Then brought in a desk.. I found a corner.. an unused new corner of the house...woohooo I HAVE MY SPACE.. mommy found a quiet corner. Put the desk in the corner, the laptop on the desk and the crochet bag underneath!!! Brought a new TV into the room that is on wheels, (Yes I was fine with no tv.. but somehow it is the only thing to keep us semi sane and everyone goes to their own space.. so it is an unavoidable must) and a storage box for the electronics that walked back in on their own.
My room is so fresh and clean now... I can sit and breath and watch the sunset over the ocean in peace, just a great feeling to find that one spot (all I need is a recliner and a bookshelf and I would be set wink wink) and as everyone who has walked in has declared.. wow the room is huge. Simplicity is a great feeling.
And Spring Cleaning no matter how exhausting and muscle wrenching and soul draining it may be.. the end result is worth every drop of sweat, grunts of dislike (from unhappy forced helpers), and tired body parts..
Having a well scrubbed house that is organized is like a kindergartner with new tennis shoes... You have just a wonderful extra bounce in your step.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Conquering Cursive
Over the past few weeks there has been an echo in the house... When are you going to teach the girls cursive... this has been repeated many times. My response has been a shaky not very confident "Soon honey soon..., definitely soon." But with that said.. how many times do you postpone something out of fear. Out of fear of having to face tears, out of fear of having to face a task that is daunting.
Why is this so daunting I wonder and have to dig deep to answer. I have found fond memories of learning to write in cursive. I loved getting good feedback from my teachers and praised for a job well done. Then boom like a shot of thunder in my head it all came pounding in.. I remember now why I don't like the idea of cursive. The times that I did not do well I remember crying because I could not please my teachers or my parents with that pristine princess style writing that I was expected to write. Over the years my handwriting has diminished to the point where I hate writing by hand, as most people stuck to a computer are also experiencing. I saw my siblings go through torture to learn to write and even with all the tears they shed and all the loud noises from my parents they still cannot write well.
Yes, writing is important, and yes legible writing is even more important. But because I don't spend so much time writing in my day to day life I find it hard to even think of how to start teaching the kids something so important as good cursive handwriting. I was very excited when my kids could type early on (secretly that meant that maybe I could avoid the whole cursive mess!). Boohoo for me no avoiding that now.
So after much internal debating and imaginary hair pulling I decided to try to teach the kids cursive. This is just one of those things that I have to bite back my words and ask God for the patience to face, an internal battle that really is all about not wanting to fight with the kids over something that many before them have struggled with.
I went to the local Marjane (walmart type shop in one stop giant store) and found some workbooks that seemed reasonable. Lots of tracing and spaces for practice. Here they do not start with print they start with cursive.. so if that had been the case this would have been a breeze. But no.. we started with print and even that was a backwards mess. I found two workbooks and they seem great, my only problem is I am not used to these foreign small squished lines for writing and given that no one wants to help me teach on this paper I have to figure it out myself. I miss the American giant first grade writing paper now...
I pulled out the books and set the girls down. They are not on the same grade level, but I have found that when it comes to starting new projects they seem to encourage and help each other... so I started with the idea that lets just take it slow and see how it goes. If it seemed too difficult then I would stop and take a break and let it be and get back to it when they were ready.
Day one... I was shaky and nervous and my butterflies were turning.. this for some reason was like facing a large audience trying to give a speech on a subject that was in your mind but not in your heart. I gave the kids the books, sharp pencils, giant erasers and started with.. now we are going to start something new and I want it to be fun. Think of it like a puzzle... (at least that is how I think of deciphering adult handwriting!!!) They were excited. Ok Kids we are going to start with tracing.. my youngest was over excited.. she loves tracing.. my oldest got tense and tight because she knew that meant real work was ahead.. she hates tracing because it leads to repetitive work soon to come. (They know me too well).
All this said and done the first day actually went really well. By day 2 my oldest was begging to put other work aside so she could do cursive, even during her free time she wanted to pick it up and work on it. So we took a detour and instead of just following the grid and tracing and going one letter a day, she asked me to show her what my writing looks like, what the letters look like together.. and boom we were writing words, deciphering letters on pages and then the lightbulb hit and she was off like a race horse out of the gate. She just started writing her normal school stuff in cursive. Not all of the letters were fully accurate, but the words were legible, and she showed me that she looked at the alphabet in the sample and then just connected the letters. I had a mommy moment of tearful joy. I wanted to shout out loud.. but I kept that in and just skipped to my own beat. She did it. I was so happy, no tears no pain. Fear conquered and the start of a new chapter laid down.....
My youngest on the other hand... she did her page of tracing and stormed off to play with a stick. When I sat with her and we talked she said she thinks tracing is for babies. As I tend to forget she is no longer 5 and is on the brink of moving past the big girl stage into the stage where they full of confidence but are so super fragile. So when approaching the next day with writing I eased her into the tracing and then let her start with the first letter.. and boom she was so excited she did the whole page, and was fairly accurate for a first timer. We both agreed that one page was enough for the day so that she can be excited to keep going for the next day.
My lesson out of all of this is remember a fear is just that a fear. It does not mean something is impossible, might be difficult, but not impossible. It means that something may be hard but if you keep practicing and pushing forward eventually you will get it figured out. We have to conquer our fears no matter how wierd, painful, shameful, or ackward they may be. Have faith and God will always guide you.
Why is this so daunting I wonder and have to dig deep to answer. I have found fond memories of learning to write in cursive. I loved getting good feedback from my teachers and praised for a job well done. Then boom like a shot of thunder in my head it all came pounding in.. I remember now why I don't like the idea of cursive. The times that I did not do well I remember crying because I could not please my teachers or my parents with that pristine princess style writing that I was expected to write. Over the years my handwriting has diminished to the point where I hate writing by hand, as most people stuck to a computer are also experiencing. I saw my siblings go through torture to learn to write and even with all the tears they shed and all the loud noises from my parents they still cannot write well.
Yes, writing is important, and yes legible writing is even more important. But because I don't spend so much time writing in my day to day life I find it hard to even think of how to start teaching the kids something so important as good cursive handwriting. I was very excited when my kids could type early on (secretly that meant that maybe I could avoid the whole cursive mess!). Boohoo for me no avoiding that now.
So after much internal debating and imaginary hair pulling I decided to try to teach the kids cursive. This is just one of those things that I have to bite back my words and ask God for the patience to face, an internal battle that really is all about not wanting to fight with the kids over something that many before them have struggled with.
I went to the local Marjane (walmart type shop in one stop giant store) and found some workbooks that seemed reasonable. Lots of tracing and spaces for practice. Here they do not start with print they start with cursive.. so if that had been the case this would have been a breeze. But no.. we started with print and even that was a backwards mess. I found two workbooks and they seem great, my only problem is I am not used to these foreign small squished lines for writing and given that no one wants to help me teach on this paper I have to figure it out myself. I miss the American giant first grade writing paper now...
I pulled out the books and set the girls down. They are not on the same grade level, but I have found that when it comes to starting new projects they seem to encourage and help each other... so I started with the idea that lets just take it slow and see how it goes. If it seemed too difficult then I would stop and take a break and let it be and get back to it when they were ready.
Day one... I was shaky and nervous and my butterflies were turning.. this for some reason was like facing a large audience trying to give a speech on a subject that was in your mind but not in your heart. I gave the kids the books, sharp pencils, giant erasers and started with.. now we are going to start something new and I want it to be fun. Think of it like a puzzle... (at least that is how I think of deciphering adult handwriting!!!) They were excited. Ok Kids we are going to start with tracing.. my youngest was over excited.. she loves tracing.. my oldest got tense and tight because she knew that meant real work was ahead.. she hates tracing because it leads to repetitive work soon to come. (They know me too well).
All this said and done the first day actually went really well. By day 2 my oldest was begging to put other work aside so she could do cursive, even during her free time she wanted to pick it up and work on it. So we took a detour and instead of just following the grid and tracing and going one letter a day, she asked me to show her what my writing looks like, what the letters look like together.. and boom we were writing words, deciphering letters on pages and then the lightbulb hit and she was off like a race horse out of the gate. She just started writing her normal school stuff in cursive. Not all of the letters were fully accurate, but the words were legible, and she showed me that she looked at the alphabet in the sample and then just connected the letters. I had a mommy moment of tearful joy. I wanted to shout out loud.. but I kept that in and just skipped to my own beat. She did it. I was so happy, no tears no pain. Fear conquered and the start of a new chapter laid down.....
My youngest on the other hand... she did her page of tracing and stormed off to play with a stick. When I sat with her and we talked she said she thinks tracing is for babies. As I tend to forget she is no longer 5 and is on the brink of moving past the big girl stage into the stage where they full of confidence but are so super fragile. So when approaching the next day with writing I eased her into the tracing and then let her start with the first letter.. and boom she was so excited she did the whole page, and was fairly accurate for a first timer. We both agreed that one page was enough for the day so that she can be excited to keep going for the next day.
My lesson out of all of this is remember a fear is just that a fear. It does not mean something is impossible, might be difficult, but not impossible. It means that something may be hard but if you keep practicing and pushing forward eventually you will get it figured out. We have to conquer our fears no matter how wierd, painful, shameful, or ackward they may be. Have faith and God will always guide you.
Carving out Quiet Time
Anyone who has children knows that mommy times is not only a precious gift.. it is nearly impossible to achieve all of the time. Some days we hit the sack and are so completely worn out that we are lucky to be able to remember to remove the bra and brush the teeth. Yeah I know seems weird but more than once I have woken up going oh man I slept in my bra once again. jeeez. For those out there that do sleep in a bra more power to you... my mama told me to never sleep in a bra.. did she have any scientific reason for this... NO.. was it to keep the ladies from falling to the floor or for health reasons.. NO... only because that is what she said and since the beginning of the tormented years of bindage I have always slept without one. So falling asleep in one is definitely done out of pure exhaustion. Now the whole forgetting to brush your teeth thing... thats a shame because well it just happens sometimes.
As my children have gotten older and less demanding the length of my alone time has grown. Not every day is it the same, and not every day do I do the same thing when I get that free time. But each moment I have alone is somewhat precious. Yes I love spending time with my family, and yes I love taking care of them and all their many unending wants and needs. But as the Domestic Engineer for the household it is only right that in order to keep my sanity in tact I have to carve out a few moments each day for reflection... thinking, zoning out, breathing... whatever I want to do moments.
Now when the kids were younger this was done in brief increments... nursing and typing one handed on the computer.. that was alone time in its own element... nap times were for laundry or picking up messes... and alone time was very very brief.
As the kids have aged and I see other mothers out there with young kids, reaching out for those few precious moments I am grateful that I survived the diaper days and can confidently say to my children... right now is mommy time and please do not ask mommy what she is doing during From experience I can say that as they get older and they get more occupied with their own activities then I will surely have more time for my crafting and reading and self nurturing. For now I am thankful to shower in peace, to rest after cleaning (albeit only a few minutes here and there.. but still rest) and to occasionally still get a hot cup of coffee without having to remicrowave it multiple times or discover yesterdays lost cup of coffee in the microwave for the umpteenth time.
Carve out that time wherever it can be carved because it is needed, it is not selfish, it is a must in order to get the thoughts together and to find balance within ones self and the outside demands of our daily lives.
(Now I know why my mom always had a paperback while we were at the park, she was not ignoring us.. she was having a carved out mommy moment!)
As my children have gotten older and less demanding the length of my alone time has grown. Not every day is it the same, and not every day do I do the same thing when I get that free time. But each moment I have alone is somewhat precious. Yes I love spending time with my family, and yes I love taking care of them and all their many unending wants and needs. But as the Domestic Engineer for the household it is only right that in order to keep my sanity in tact I have to carve out a few moments each day for reflection... thinking, zoning out, breathing... whatever I want to do moments.
Now when the kids were younger this was done in brief increments... nursing and typing one handed on the computer.. that was alone time in its own element... nap times were for laundry or picking up messes... and alone time was very very brief.
As the kids have aged and I see other mothers out there with young kids, reaching out for those few precious moments I am grateful that I survived the diaper days and can confidently say to my children... right now is mommy time and please do not ask mommy what she is doing during From experience I can say that as they get older and they get more occupied with their own activities then I will surely have more time for my crafting and reading and self nurturing. For now I am thankful to shower in peace, to rest after cleaning (albeit only a few minutes here and there.. but still rest) and to occasionally still get a hot cup of coffee without having to remicrowave it multiple times or discover yesterdays lost cup of coffee in the microwave for the umpteenth time.
Carve out that time wherever it can be carved because it is needed, it is not selfish, it is a must in order to get the thoughts together and to find balance within ones self and the outside demands of our daily lives.
(Now I know why my mom always had a paperback while we were at the park, she was not ignoring us.. she was having a carved out mommy moment!)
Friday, January 7, 2011
part II today
So to bring this blog to current... over the last year we packed up what we could fit in a handful of suitcases and got rid of everything else that we owned. By get rid of I mean nothing left whatsoever. Due to family issues we moved to Morocco for the moment. So the question with each pile I had to dig through was.. do I need this? Can I get it again? What am I really holding on to it for? Are the memories more important than the item. Then the questions were what will I need to survive that I cannot buy in the new home... what do I need to continue teaching. Yes we homeschool and anyone who has kids and schools at all will realize that 7 years worth of books and files and games and toys... a well built stock of current supplies and future possibilities is was an impossible task within itself. How do you get that down to a manageable size and not miss out on something important. Will I be getting rid of something that I will need and cannot replace?
God puts people in our lives for a reason... and He puts individual challenges in front of each of us. Keeping in mind that we will never be given anything we cannot handle has been a motivational tool for survival.
At first this daunting task seemed near impossible... and having to do it all alone with 2 kids begging to swim every other minute and get it all done within a month... I thought about all the people who have come before me on the trek of life. Any trek, any hardship and what would I do in their boat, whether it be fire, flood, theft... This onslaught of thinking really helped me to keep in mind the moment and to know that it is not IMPOSSIBLE... it is just an adjustment to be made.
Over time we build relationships with stuff... for pleasure, for memory, to take the place of a lost one or something that is missing in our life.. having lost things before, not having money to buy more in general, we hold on to all the junk that can be called our personal treasures. Breaking bonds with physical items that hold such emotional attachments can be a very hard road to go down, as well as one that takes a strong mind and a will of steel to just start over. Have faith that God will provide. What was once bought can be bought again...
Faith is what got me to where I am now. Knowing that there is a higher purpose a bigger reason for getting past this moment. Knowing that every part of life is a new adventure. This has been a tremendous opportunity for personal growth, cleansing of life and of allowing bonds to grow strong where need be and to frizzle out where need be. For me to find out where my priorities truly need to be and to know that yes it can be done.
I am so thankful for this challenge in my life. Yes it has not been easy, yes I have broken down and cried a time or two. But in the end... well it is not the end and the challenge just continues to add chapters as each new day comes. This is the life we walk...
God puts people in our lives for a reason... and He puts individual challenges in front of each of us. Keeping in mind that we will never be given anything we cannot handle has been a motivational tool for survival.
At first this daunting task seemed near impossible... and having to do it all alone with 2 kids begging to swim every other minute and get it all done within a month... I thought about all the people who have come before me on the trek of life. Any trek, any hardship and what would I do in their boat, whether it be fire, flood, theft... This onslaught of thinking really helped me to keep in mind the moment and to know that it is not IMPOSSIBLE... it is just an adjustment to be made.
Over time we build relationships with stuff... for pleasure, for memory, to take the place of a lost one or something that is missing in our life.. having lost things before, not having money to buy more in general, we hold on to all the junk that can be called our personal treasures. Breaking bonds with physical items that hold such emotional attachments can be a very hard road to go down, as well as one that takes a strong mind and a will of steel to just start over. Have faith that God will provide. What was once bought can be bought again...
Faith is what got me to where I am now. Knowing that there is a higher purpose a bigger reason for getting past this moment. Knowing that every part of life is a new adventure. This has been a tremendous opportunity for personal growth, cleansing of life and of allowing bonds to grow strong where need be and to frizzle out where need be. For me to find out where my priorities truly need to be and to know that yes it can be done.
I am so thankful for this challenge in my life. Yes it has not been easy, yes I have broken down and cried a time or two. But in the end... well it is not the end and the challenge just continues to add chapters as each new day comes. This is the life we walk...
Cleansing of life
Where does one start when one writes a daily mental blog yet never puts the words to the screen. This is like trying to catch up with an old friend you find on Facebook. Someone who has meant so much to you in the past but you lost contact with for some unknown reason.. because that is just how life is it takes you down twists and turns on the path of life. No matter how planned out our life seems, it never winds up the way we want. So you find this lost friend and you sit forever in front of the screen oohing and ahhing that wooohooo you found them.. now what.. are they even going to remember you. What do you say? How do you start? Those first initial emails are brutal and so raw on the emotions. All your old memories good and bad flood to the surface and you rewrite that intro email many times before you start with something as bland and blank as.. hey its me do you remember me I remember you yadda yadda....
So all this is to say having written in the past many times and saved my writings... for some reason the role of busy mom, has taken away from my actual courage of putting my thoughts to the screen. Thanks to the encouragement of my new international online community of friends and sisters I am ready to make that initial jump of faith and just write it how it is.
I could do a disclaimer, but I think life comes without disclaimers... I am a rambler, a forgetter, a mother, a teacher, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend... and this all encompasses that my brain will be alert at times and very far and distant at others.
I welcome all to come and help me rally the courage to write daily. As I have been told something is better than nothing.... you the reader can be the judge of that.
So all this is to say having written in the past many times and saved my writings... for some reason the role of busy mom, has taken away from my actual courage of putting my thoughts to the screen. Thanks to the encouragement of my new international online community of friends and sisters I am ready to make that initial jump of faith and just write it how it is.
I could do a disclaimer, but I think life comes without disclaimers... I am a rambler, a forgetter, a mother, a teacher, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend... and this all encompasses that my brain will be alert at times and very far and distant at others.
I welcome all to come and help me rally the courage to write daily. As I have been told something is better than nothing.... you the reader can be the judge of that.
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